Girly Mag one copy tid prn lust, disp. # 10, no refill

Here’s a new one: this morning a nurse asked if I wanted to write an order for porno mags. This was requested by a male patient, who recently has been bedding (or perhaps “bathrooming”) multiple females from the ward. I don’t know whether buying him porn will improve or worsen the situation. Probably I played hooky the day they taught us about porno mags in med school. My first reaction was to say “Porno mags are not a medical device or intervention”, and punt the question to an administrator. A little asking around, though, revealed that a female patient already has a stash of Playgirls in her room. “But that’s different,” said one staffer, “she’s a girl.” Is it different? How? Does it matter? Why do these questions land on my desk?

I think I am not going to touch this one with a ten-foot vibrator. I can see all manner of legal trouble heading my way if I get involved-- sexual harassment, gender discrimination, civil liberty, first amendment, ADA, who knows. Plus, I’m not even sure our pharmacy stocks porn. They’re still getting over my inquiry about condoms the other week.