Wednesday, January 25, 2006

We have met the enemy, and they are us.

For several days I’ve been concerned about the frequency with which the Smallish State Bureau of Taxation visits my blog. They seem to check in every morning. Often, they do a fly-over at lunchtime, too. Sometimes as often as thrice in a day. Worrisome.

Even before discovering this, I have been of late slightly obsessed and anxious about taxes and taxation (partly because I am now officially self-employed). So, the presence of the Bureau of Taxation here in my virtual inner sanctum was quite unsettling. What are they looking for? What I have done wrong this time? When are they going to tell me? Is my blog something that can and will be used against me in a court of law?

To my surprise, a little Google research revealed that the Smallish State Bureau of Taxation has not even existed since 1997, when its name was changed to the less-threatening-sounding "Smallish State Department of Revenue". Suddenly I felt that I was being haunted, Scrooge-like, by the Ghost of Taxes Past. I could hear the chains rattling, and the howling of penalties with compound interest. These are not idle fears, either—recently the Smallish State sent me a letter demanding to know why I had not paid Smallish State income tax for the year 2000, and threatening me with “action” if I did not pay up quick. Since I didn't move here until mid-2001, this request seemed a little far-fetched, and I had to write them a letter saying so.

Anyway, I tried not to panic about this situation. Tried to figure out a more benign explanation. And finally, through careful observation and deductive reasoning, I determined that the Bureau of Taxation is, in fact, me. Yes, it was myself, logging on to my own blog. How can this be? Not sure, but I’m guessing the computer address at Green Acres was once assigned to the now-defunct Bureau of Taxation, and no one ever bothered to update things. Typical.

Summary: In a fit of classic paranoid behavior, I thought my own shadow was out to get me, and tried to catch it.

1 Comments:

Blogger girl MD said...

just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not after you.

1/25/06, 5:47 PM  

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