Saturday, December 24, 2005

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I am a goal-oriented type of guy. This morning, in the shower, I was seized by a new and immediate goal: “2006 hits by 2006”.

This blog has, since inception, generated an average of just 29 hits per week (and there’s a good chance that 10 of those were me hitting myself—masochist that I am.) In recent months, the hit-rate has bumped up a bit. But this week Shrink or Fade will need nearly one-hundred hits to reach its goal.

I’m taking some action. This post, for example, contains what I imagine to be popularly Googled words. Perhaps that will bring a few walk-ins. Also, I am offering FREE leftover wrapping paper to the first 10 visitors.

But to meet this challenge, I’m really going to need your assistance. Can you help?
Maybe you have friends who can read-- you could send them over. Maybe you work at a search and can bump S.o.F. up a notch or two. Maybe you just want to send me a check or money order (unrelated.) Anything you can do would be appreciated. Ground rules, though:

1) I don’t need any pity-hits. This has to happen fair and square, or fail trying. I know it’s hard, but please limit yourself to one visit per day until the end of the year (then, you can resume hourly visits.)
2) Family members, employees, lackeys, Agency agents, ski buddies, and persons who have ever won anything from or are wholly owned subsidiaries of Shrink or Fade are ineligible for prizes.

Thank you, and goodnight

[ed. note: I strongly suspect that the recent boost in hit-rate is related to the covert Presidential wire-tapping we’ve been hearing about lately. Come to think of it, the readership increased just after I mailed to the Republican National Committee a check made payable to “Democratic National Committee”. I realize this was not so nice, but the RNC kept mercilessly soliciting me, even after I wrote them a nice note suggesting that they save their postage, so you really can’t blame me.]

4 Comments:

Blogger Katinka said...

(do I get the wrapping paper, huh ???)

Merry Christmas & Happy 2006!:)

12/25/05, 12:07 PM  
Anonymous Kim said...

Hey there, like your site (thank Sherry at Stay) and seeing your plea for goal posting fulfillment, guided my friends your way. Not out of pity, noooo. (Besides you'll get traffic jams with horns blaring just with that headline string you crafted.) They'll enjoy it.
I liked the Xmas lights, which resemble psychadelic rum balls, the best kind, no doubt. Happy holidays and adventures :)

12/26/05, 11:52 AM  
Blogger Stephanie said...

Hi! I just stumbled on your site. I'm pretty sure I fall under the "friends who can read" title. Very funny and creative site. Good luck on the hits.

12/30/05, 10:11 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

2006 hits for 2006? i bet the folks looking for porn or penile enlargement were disappointed. but, hey, maybe they were amused to find that they had been so duped by a search engine and a crafty blogger fishing for hits?
glad you achieved your goal...and then some.

1/3/06, 6:58 PM  

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