Sunday, June 18, 2006

Impressive List

Some people think it would be fun to be manic. I doubt it. It can certainly be exhausting.

A letter handed to me Friday morning at Green Acres

“Dear Sir,

I have been told that I am not capable to care for myself. I disagree with this statement. I am one of the smartest people in the Smallish State. I have done everything listed below:

1) Built gas stations
2) Built & rebuilt cars— rust proofing.
3) Invented roller covers, trays, sticks, angle brushes.
4) Faux painted houses, custom painting, used different tools.
5) Business cards— full color laser printer.
6) Fractal postcards, holograms.
7) Phone and Central Smallish State Power— erected.
8) Install outlets, switches, boxes, wire.
9) Fireproof & built woodstoves.
10) Install windows
11) GM: told to make smaller cars.
12) Worked with dyes on clothes.
13) Custom designed ladies clothes.
14) Invented metal ladder.
15) Worked at [Restaurant]. Started as dishwasher, trained kids, left being most respected by all, bar, dishes, head chef, waitresses.
16) Greenhouse: first. Bulbs: first. Personal gardening.
17) Custom built houses and lay floors.
18) Worked with kids & disabled adults. Invented wheelchair.
19) Started C.A.R.E. and Red Cross.
20) Helped build [Smallish State beach resort town.]
21) Silk screened clothes.
22) Log cabin: built. Dome house: built.
23) First in-ground and above-ground pools.
24) Helped take 2 houses—put large furniture in house—built house around furniture.
25) Delivered all babies in Smallish State.
26) Ice fishing traps, smelting.
27) First pair of jeans, T-shirt, sneakers, socks underwear.
28) Invented Christmas.
29) Clocks. Time of day. Documented sun and moon from here and from CA, FL, MA.
30) Computers
31) In car stereos.
32) Changed cars.
33) Invented and changed baseball & football & uniforms & shoes.
34) Donated money.
35) Art: I made up word.
36) Antique: I made up word.
37) Updated books for 2005.
38) Read lots of books.
39) Research old books and churches to change schools.
40) Could be next president.
41) Will meet with Bill & Hillary Clinton—possible George Bush.
42) Traffic light system design.
43) Turnpike design.
44) Space shuttle: designed it.
45) More respect from more styles of people than any other person.
46) Electric typewriter.
47) Electric and rechargeable drills & saws.
48) Changed saw blade.
49) Planted trees—20 year plan—started age 4.
50) Have Martin Luther King’s book with pictures. Limited.
51) Have JFK book. Limited.
52) Have John Lennon book. Limited.
53) Own CD player plus CD’s.
54) Designed table at this building.
55) Hot water heater: 1st.
56) Electric heat: 1st.
57) Gas stove: 1st.
58) First trailer
59) First cement style walls in place to live—in ground.
60) Invented using old bricks to make sidewalk.
61) Post office boxes.
62) Coffee, French fries, bread, donuts, muffins, cookies, cake, pizza, Italians: invented all.
63) Trade bananas for clothes.
64) Working on huge yard sale east to west with clothes, stuff.
65) Need to check towers, dams.
66) Had cement mixer and sand bags ready for emergency.
67) All children delivered alive & well.
68) All trees cut for homes or to burn already replaced.
69) Need to figure-- recycle old tires and old style steel mowers, cars, etc.
70) Lined brick chimneys with stove pipe, clean stoves, matches, torches.
71) Copper tubing & PVC pipe & clay pipe.
72) Complete portfolio on faux finish work.
73) First skate board, board games, Big Wheel, comic books.
74) Write music, TV, movies, Rolling Stone, National Geographic.
75) Made up card games.
76) Tennis court, Olympics, basketball, batting average.
77) Outdoor & indoor running water, tubs, showers, sinks, hot water heater.
78) Eyeglasses
79) Car seats for kids, safety belt, stroller, backpack, maps.
80) I-95 truck stops.
81) Changed tints for clothes and house paint, mud for sheetrock.
82) TV, VCR, CD
83) Sponsor young people poor other countries.
84) Cements, taps, glues, sheet rock screws.
85) TV shows, move shows, song, book writer.
86) Lay floor tile, wood floor, carpet flood.
87) Electric razor
88) Worked with all styles of equipment.
89) Sunglasses.
90) Smallish State organic farmer and growers association: started it.
91) Bread, donuts—1st.
92) Scanners on items for electronic checkout system at register: invented.
93) Wrote to stop boxing and wrestling.
94) Worked with fishermen."

2 Comments:

Blogger Katinka said...

My favourite: 'Trade bananas for clothes'

(rolling on floor)

Turbo, thanks...I won't need to do any pilates for a while after reading that list! :P

6/21/06, 3:04 AM  
Blogger Tillerman said...

Geeze - the guy has so much energy - he should write a blog.

Wait a minute - I can thing of at least 6 blogs that he probably does write.

6/25/06, 5:23 PM  

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