Thursday, March 30, 2006

I Should Get Extra Credit For This

This afternoon I finally got around to downloading the free credit report that we're all now allowed once a year from each of the three credit megaliths (which you request here.) The last time I had anything to do with my credit report was when I bought my house; at that time, it must've been okay, because the woman on the phone at the mortgage company cooed "Oh, Mr. Turboglacier! You have EXCELLENT credit! Oh, my!" I thought she was going to ask me out right over the phone.

Luckily, I didn't find any major financial issues on my report. But I did find two disturbing items. First, the slimeballs at Discover Card (with which I do no business) have accessed my credit report twelve times in the fourteen months. That's not cool.

Second, I apparently used to have a different first name and a different social security number. News to me.

Third, and most worrisome, I apparently used to work at the Naval Underwater Warfare Center. Now, I try to stay away from politics here on SorF, but those who know me can attest that the likelihood of my ever working at a "warfare center" is very, very low. I wonder what this is about. I strongly suspect that it happened about the same time, and probably through the same mechanism, as my involuntary, unrequested, and wholly unwanted membership in the Republican National Committee. Yes, I have an ID card. For a while I carried it in my wallet as a party gag, but then I thought, "What if I die in a car accident, and they find this in my wallet, and my obituary says I was a card-carrying member of the RNC?" So I took it out.

Anyway, back to the topic. I filled out several on-line forms protesting my false name, false SS number, and past underwater aggression. Then I learned that the Smallish State recently passed a law allowing consumers to freeze their credit reports, so no one can access them without permission. (Actually, I thought that's how it was supposed to work all the time, but apparently I am naive.) So, I wrote three letters to Equifax, Transunion, and Experian asking them to cut off Discover Financial and their bottom-feeding brethren from viewing my reports. Unfortunately, it cost $30 to do this. You can go
here to see if your crappy state lets you do the same.

Lastly, I went
here, where (for free!) you can tell the credit agencies to stop selling your name to all those companies that fill your mailbox with "pre-approved credit" offers. Hope it works.

Now I'm going over to The Annex for dinner, and to keep 517 company while 1 and 2 watch "Survivor: Minor Outlying Islands, The Smallish State"


Blogger Turboglacier said...

Update: I asked PoppaGlacier whether I ever had an "alternate" social security number that I wasn't aware of. He say I did not. He adds:

"We did however enroll you in the Naval Underwater Warfare Center when you were very young because they had a special infant swimming program."

Sometimes it's hard to know who to believe. All the Glaciers are big jokers.

3/31/06, 7:53 AM  

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