April Fools Prank Report
A. Unsuccessful Pranks (with Reason For Failure and Suggested Future Improvements):
1. Balloon duct-taped to rear tire of car to simulate "tire explosion" when victim drives away. (RFF: Victim noted balloon. SFI: Do not use bright-red balloon. Suggest using clear-colored inflated condom.)
2. Ping-pong balls in bucket balanced on top of slightly-ajar door. (RFF: Victim noted bucket. SFI: Get place with higher ceilings and taller doors.)
3. Short-sheeting of bed. (RFF: Victim was so wary by end of day that she carefully inspected bed, in spite of its completely normal appearance. SFI: Keep trying till it works.)
4. Insinuation of several custom-made "warning" sheets into office photocopier paper-feed tray.
(RFF: No one used the damn copier all day long. SFI: Ask an officemate if she would make me a copy of something.)
B. Moderately Successful Pranks
1. "Blood" gushing into the toilet when flushed [red food color in toilet tank]. (Victim was not much impressed, except to comment "That's going to stain your toilet bowl, you know.")
2. Salt-infused toothbrush. (Victim not phased, apparently likes salt.)
3. Washing machine water intake turned down to a trickle. (Victim said was "just annoying.")
C. Highly Successful Pranks
1. Pile of "fresh cat poop" in the hallway, artisan-crafted from melted Tootsie roll material. When distraught victim brought perpetrator to see the mess, perpetrator examined, smelled, and then tasted "poop". Victim horrified. (Inspiration: Caddyshack.)
2. Victim's car "ticketed" for "No Parking Between Signs" (no actual signs in vicinity) using actual Smallish City parking ticket, cleverly altered. Victim pissed off but did not put it past Smallish City parking officials to ticket for absolutely no reason-- thus was fooled.
3. Clothes-dryer exhaust vent removed from wall and redirected to aim back at front of dryer. Vent filled with large quantity of foam packing peanuts. Peanuts blew violently out at victim's head when dryer "ON" button pushed.
And, the worst one that was done to me: My whole spice drawer rearranged in reverse order. You can imagine the effect. I practically blew a gasket.
1. Balloon duct-taped to rear tire of car to simulate "tire explosion" when victim drives away. (RFF: Victim noted balloon. SFI: Do not use bright-red balloon. Suggest using clear-colored inflated condom.)
2. Ping-pong balls in bucket balanced on top of slightly-ajar door. (RFF: Victim noted bucket. SFI: Get place with higher ceilings and taller doors.)
3. Short-sheeting of bed. (RFF: Victim was so wary by end of day that she carefully inspected bed, in spite of its completely normal appearance. SFI: Keep trying till it works.)
4. Insinuation of several custom-made "warning" sheets into office photocopier paper-feed tray.
(RFF: No one used the damn copier all day long. SFI: Ask an officemate if she would make me a copy of something.)B. Moderately Successful Pranks
1. "Blood" gushing into the toilet when flushed [red food color in toilet tank]. (Victim was not much impressed, except to comment "That's going to stain your toilet bowl, you know.")
2. Salt-infused toothbrush. (Victim not phased, apparently likes salt.)
3. Washing machine water intake turned down to a trickle. (Victim said was "just annoying.")
C. Highly Successful Pranks
1. Pile of "fresh cat poop" in the hallway, artisan-crafted from melted Tootsie roll material. When distraught victim brought perpetrator to see the mess, perpetrator examined, smelled, and then tasted "poop". Victim horrified. (Inspiration: Caddyshack.)
2. Victim's car "ticketed" for "No Parking Between Signs" (no actual signs in vicinity) using actual Smallish City parking ticket, cleverly altered. Victim pissed off but did not put it past Smallish City parking officials to ticket for absolutely no reason-- thus was fooled.
3. Clothes-dryer exhaust vent removed from wall and redirected to aim back at front of dryer. Vent filled with large quantity of foam packing peanuts. Peanuts blew violently out at victim's head when dryer "ON" button pushed.
And, the worst one that was done to me: My whole spice drawer rearranged in reverse order. You can imagine the effect. I practically blew a gasket.
posted by Turbo at 8:42 PM
7 Comments:
it would suck to share a house with you. RFF/SFI.
Ha! Fab. Spice Drawer. Daring.
+1 on the spice drawer!
also +1 for drawing inspiration from Caddyshack.
Is everyone in your town this awesome, or just you and Sherry? If the former, I would like to propose a house swap (on condition that I can turn the heat up a little). C'mon, you know you want to live in Canada...
we're all this awesome.
I was all set to beg someone to switch with me, then I read the dog shit post. Never mind.
Messing with the sacred spice drawer? Nooo....
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