Things I Love To Do With My Cat

This is a list of things I love to do with my cat, Jake. Admittedly, I stole the concept (though not content) of this list from S.’s list of "Things I Love To Do With My Dog". But it's a whole different species, you know. So here they are:

• Leading him around the house with the string-on-a-stick toy. Enticing him to work up unsafe speeds of chase and crash into furniture.
• Rolling him over and counting the spots on his belly, poking each one as I count.
• Putting a stuffed octopus toy on his head, with tentacles hanging down on all sides, and watching the mad look in his eyes as he tries to determine what’s happening.
• Watching him dozing in the shade of the crabapple tree in the back yard, on a warm summer afternoon.
• Engaging him in a participatory theatrical production re-enacting the day we met at the animal shelter, eight years ago.
• Throwing him over my shoulder like a sack of rice, and walking from window to window looking for birds or squirrels.
• Laughing at his feeble attempts to be “stealthy” around the house-- ears poking over a table edge, tail hanging around a corner-- and questioning aloud whose body parts I might be seeing.
• Describing to him things that he is too short to see (“I’m looking over the fence, and there are twelve sparrows playing in a puddle in the parking lot.”)
• Referring to Rules for Cats as if there are many of his kind in the house (“No cats on counters. No cats allowed to drink from the toilet. No muddy paws in bed. Etc.) Implying that I would make an exception for him if I could, but that would be unfair to all the others.
• Carrying on prolonged conversations in cat-language, trying to appear confident that I know exactly what I’m saying. And always trying to have the last word.
• Coaxing him to get up his courage to enter “the cave” under the sheets in bed.
• Curling up nightly to sleep with his nose tucked under my arm.